I remember in one of my travels this year when I went to Sagada how cold the place was even when it is during the summer season. My friend and I woke up around two in the morning just to go to Kiltepan Peak uncrowded and save us a spot to witness its famous “the Sea of Clouds”. And we did have our spot, endured the thirteen degrees Celsius till sunrise only to see what I call “The Sea of Fog”. Some of the tourist I noticed complained and got frustrated. It seems like an effort to actually wake up early to see a view of fog and it is freezing cold, hello? For us who also had a very tiring trek before that day, we could’ve slept it through and plan to do other things in our itinerary. But somehow, for me, it felt fulfilling still. I realized how it is, correlating that experience with my freezing cold soul. That sense of fulfillment I felt going up there at that time is like a deep encounter of my own thoughts and inner being. Seeing the foggy clouds in front of me somehow put those thoughts and emotions in place. That is why most people I believe travel to get a grip on the reason for living more than just the experience of the place and with the people. That experience reminded me now of where I am at this point in my life, plus the drama and dilemmas. I have disconnected myself for a very long time with people and most of my close friends as I was dealing these dramas and dilemmas. It is messy, believe me. At those times that I tried to open up to people (my kind of people and not just to anyone) makes me feel like I’m back in that cold place walking my way up to the peak just to see that foggy clouds when everybody else turned their backs on it and left, and no one can understand that feeling. But as I have found myself back on that spot, seeing nothing such a view to marvel about, it will all make sense to me again what I was going through – life, and everything in it. I have a hard time for years about this and I appreciate my friends who were there for me even in my #findme (or my soul searching) journey despite my lack of openness to them about it. Maybe until now they are, as I also have a hard time explaining quarter life dilemmas to them. Let alone expect them to understand it too. At some point even if it would be great to witness or experience things on your own, just like that sense of fulfillment of my own going to the peak, it is better to have someone share it with. Maybe not physically at the moment or even if to have someone to share to with the experience is better. Indeed, life’s journey is not meant to be faced alone. Going there with my friend and enjoying the experience is like an icing on a cake. Having family, friends, mentor, and coaches – people that can be accountable for you and you can count on to. They add spice and meaning to how you live and handle life.

As I was sharing with this group of faithful, strong and beautiful ladies my life, struggles and hope I feel nothing more but grateful and blessed. Mostly to God who answered my unprayed prayer but as The Father knows best and what you [and I] need before I even asked He give. And He did. I never thought I’d be in need of such people in my life until I found myself (and I know) that I need to be part of the burning coals again. The kind of people who can actually help me and build me up especially in my spiritual walk in life. I really have neglected that need for so long as well. I thought I can deal with my spiritual dryness on my own. But the truth is, the more I detach myself from the burning coals the more I am cooling down and my fire is dying. It is true what most old people or rather adult people say about the people in your life that as you age you will have that small circle that you allow in your life to be a part of. That circle will be with you through your life’s journey and you need to be wise and picky who are those people you let in your life. Choose someone that lifts you up and encourages you. People that help you grow. I am thankful how this, to be part again with the people I know can and will help feed each other’s soul, has been like an achievement or something that brings a whole different kind of joy in my heart. Rather than stressing or highlighting, if I must say, the dilemmas and problems I have I want to always go back to that spot of me and the fog in front of me. That even if it doesn’t make sense – life, and everything in it, or the quarter-life crisis I have, I can choose to turn to God and face the unknown. And to go through these unknown paths with the people I can rely on this journey.

For some, traveling alone is fun. And I am amazed how they find their own way of experiencing things and feel satisfied with it. I seem to get it now some would rather travel alone. They too have that sense of fulfillment that they achieved something on their own and that experience is wholly and pure joy for you. I like to put it in this context when you go solo traveling. I believe that as we all journey in life distinct and altogether the same only in some areas, we are meant to face it head start. Picture it out like you are in a foreign country traveling alone and you actually came prepared to go from one point to another. But you never thought how unprepared you are until an unexpected moment or encounter happened. You probably don’t know how to read their bus signs or directory even if you have a map in front of you. When you asked someone for that direction and help it is similarly as we journey in life that there will always be those people in it – involved as we go through. They may not literally go through the same phase as I [or you] have right now but they are there. And have someone who will always be there for you. Going back again to that peak experience, how I had an encounter of my own through it was on me. Even if my friend was there too but she wasn’t entirely involved in that encounter but she was there. For me to figure something out on my own through or by just watching clearly nothing but the fog, is on me. Not my friend or anyone around me. It almost feels like solo traveling. I hope you get the point. People sometimes can be distant as you face life on your own but they are never really gone. Because some battles are meant to be faced alone too. But not life as it is alone. More than these people I can count on to as I walk in this journey, I am thankful to have the Lord with me. Not only that He is the Author of my life who knows how my life is going to be as I go through these so I hold on to Him to know the “hows” in life, but also is the only ONE who can and will walk with me through everything in my life. I desire to be back like a burning coal. On fire. Consumed. Only then, if not, my heart and soul will die from cold and vanishes like an ash from the dead coal.

I hope and pray we may all find ourselves embracing our life’s journey head on no matter what is it that we face. And to allow ourselves be open in humility and vulnerability that at some point we can never really do it on our own. Embrace people in our lives that can encourage us and strengthen us as we face everyday life.