I love summertime because I love celebrating my birthdays at the beach. It’s like a symbol of happiness for me. I also love to prepare for a trip with friends and celebrate with them. But I most especially find a moment within me to just recall, reflect, and rejoice things that happened in my life. Birthdays are a great reminder why you exist to where you are now, where you have been, and where else you could be. And every year I look back and share about the lessons I’ve learned and experiences. This year, I want to share my story how I have come to a point in my life of celebrating its fullness.

My birth month has been jam packed of activities, events, and deadlines. I had so much to prepare for and so much to look forward to. As a planner, I would start organizing my schedules, set tasks for the day, and work on what should be done. But then it felt like I woke up the next day feeling blank. I prayed and cried out to the Lord, “what should I do? What am I supposed to do first?” All the “how’s,why’s and where’s” were asked. Throughout the day I ruminated and then it felt like the Holy Spirit just prompted me to fast for a couple of days. And so I did. It was like the Lord is teaching me not just to be dependent on His leading for me on what to do, but also aligning my heart and desires to His will. During my days of fasting, one of the revelations I had that struck me was more than anything I do or desire in this lifetime, nothing can be equal to the satisfaction and contentment of life found in the presence of God, and God alone.

One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple.

Psalm 27:4 ESV

Revelations after revelations, wrestling my heart out to God, meanwhile I still don’t have anything figured out what to with all the things I need to prepare for. There were times that I will try to work out an idea then it seemed like roadblocks came one after the other. It was simply telling me that wasn’t what God wants to happen or for me to do. Sometimes the circumstances indeed won’t change because God is changing your heart. I wanted to do so many things but the how’s to do it doesn’t add up. I came to a point of surrender asking for God’s will in different events and tasks I have to attend to. That journey also stretched and strengthened my faith in God not to worry for He is a promise-keeping God. If He says He will lead the way, He surely will. If He says, He will never leave me (—us) nor for forsake me, He won’t and He hasn’t, and never will. What amazes me is how God put things together before me, how I kept on asking Him what should I do while He already made a way for me for things to be accomplished. All I have to do is seek Him first, and obey in His leading. And the peace, oh the peace, once you obey God is beyond description. It’s like how the verse says, “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7 ESV)”

Then came the birthday getaway that I have been looking forward to. Me and my friends went to a beach camp and stayed there overnight. There were a lot of things that went up and went down during that trip. It was loud deep inside of me, it wasn’t what I hope it would be, and what I wanted to do for the trip. I wanted to celebrate on things that had happened recently in my life that is worth celebrating but there was none of it. I wrestle deep within me and I couldn’t contain it. So I went on a swim, stayed in the ocean by myself for a couple of hours. It was a moment that felt like forever I had with the Lord. The experience taught me to go back and remember who I am in Christ, who I am as His daughter. And remember who He is, who will He always be as my Heavenly Father. The love of the Lord felt like the ocean that I am in. It is vast, boundless, and endless. I feel nearer to Him and freer in Him. He was like up in the clouds listening to me loud and clearly in every word spoken and unspoken. Outside the noise, that moment just made me feel loved by my Creator, and reminding me what He has made me for. And in that moment alone, I am complete. He is all the I need and Jesus is more than enough for me. Every time the waves come at me was like my own life in front of my eyes and I’m letting it hit me. It is sometimes small or big, strong, or subtle, fast or slow and yet the Lord asks me to walk above the waves. He was showing me that as I face this new year that He has added in my life He will surely guide me through, like how He will lead me back to the shore.

A lot of things have happened for the past 26 years and I never felt much fuller … complete but this year; all thanks to my Heavenly Father who is faithful in His promises — showering love, hope, peace, and joy as I continue to live my life for Him. I can celebrate life because of who God is, and is for me. And that’s all I ever need.

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:337-39 NLT