Ten years ago, during high school days when I started to blog. I tried using different platforms before WordPress until I decided to stick with it now. I wasn’t really consistent in posting back then. And I wouldn’t really call it blogging at first because it wasn’t entirely a content I make for the public to read. It was some sort of an outlet for my thoughts and feelings. You know, growing up in high school was a lot to take in with your own thoughts and emotions, and I just put it straight to writing and post it. Maybe it was also like a diary, but not entirely. I didn’t write a lengthy post of what happened on my day online. I wrote it in my journal. My personal journal. Back then, I would treat blogging in that way. I don’t post travel tips, life inspirations, and recommendations. I posted poetry, songs, some insights, and inspirations too, but in a different manner. More like a very personal manner. And looking back at those times now, I wouldn’t really call myself a blogger after all. But being a blogger is not limited to be able to make contents promoting brands just like how it’s rampantly done now as another marketing tool by companies, and in creating a business from it. Blogging is an avenue for users to post reflections, discuss, and share opinions on various topics.

And the reason why I blog is that I love to write. And that is the only reason why I also consider or call myself a blogger. I may not be good like the others, but I love what I do. I love to write. I love to write what inspires me the most like what I have been doing now with my #somesaminspo. I love to share more of my experience when I travel rather than sharing the process of how I reached the destinations. I did a few travel blogs now about the destinations I have been to, but I still manage to balance it by sharing my personal experience. I love to write things about what I have also learned from experience or from another perspective. But most of the time, those learning weren’t able to reach the virtual world as much as I want to. Most of the time, I am hesitant to put so much of my private life online because those learning that I had were very personal and private. And I refuse to break my privacy.

For years of writing in my long kept journals, I had this dilemma last night.

I came home and found my journals damaged because it was soaked in the heavy rain. I stored them in one big box along with the books I used to read in the past years. Those books really made an impact on my life just as how my journal notebooks. And unfortunately, I wasn’t able to notice that the box’s cover was already damaged before there was even a rain pour. It was only about time that it did rain and the water got in the box and caused the damage. It felt like my heart broke the moment I saw my journals drenched with water. I couldn’t help but feel frustrated. It’s like my life’s work that was crushed. From time to time, I would go through my old journals. I want to read the things I wrote about my experiences from the different season of my life. I want to read the revelation I had during those times from God. I want to read the things I wrote about how I dealt with the circumstance, people, and my life in general. My journals were more precious than my gadgets, or even my money in the bank. If thieves will try to rob my house, I could let them take everything but not my journal (and well, of course, my life). I tried to blow dry each one of my journals last night but most of the writings on pages were gone. I was holding on too much with every detail I have written. I’m holding on to how my thoughts, feelings, revelations, learning, prayers, faith goals, important moments, and dreams were written in details that I and God alone could understand. But I wasn’t able to save most of it now. It will all gonna be a memory for me. And in time, when I grow old, I will completely forget about the things I have written. It will all gonna be an experience well experienced. I have nothing to look back at now. I don’t post everything I have written in my journal on my blog as I have said before. And now, I realized I wish I did, if not all. I chose what to only share with the public. And now, I feel like I have to choose to be more deliberate in sharing things on my blog. Maybe in a more proper manner now than I did before. And in a way that I won’t be breaking too much of my private life.

From what had happened last night made me realize that I want to share more of what I have written. Share more of the things that other people can also draw learning from. I spend more days in writing everything that is going on in my head and my life. But I realized that my journals will only be read by certain people in my life if I will allow them to. Or when by the time I die they will find my dearly beloved journals, only then that they could read it. I love to write what I learn and find inspiration or motivation and encouragement from it but, what would it be of use if it is only I who learned and realized it? Such things I cannot just hold dearly and keep it all to myself when I can make an impact by sharing it with all of you, my dear readers, who may or may not be in the same situation I’m in. May not be entirely the same, but almost. Whatever it is, I hope that it will also make some sense to all of you in your own way. It will also not be just me who can look back on things that I have written online but also you who wants to be refreshed by the learning and reflections from experience you have had. Moving forward from this, I am excited for the things I can share more with all of you.

All glory to God!

– SAM