As we are already halfway through this year I realized that one of the big steps I took was to fully let go. And I have been sharing in my previous blogs my quest in #findme (finding my identity and purpose). Most of the time it isn’t easy to let go of comfort, pain, people that caused you pain, even the good or bad things happened in the past we [or I] hold dearly, what can’t be, and things that are out or not even in your [or my] control. Probably you can add to this list, but mostly these are the things I can share with you. Admitting to myself that I need to let go is already hard. And to go through the process of it to fully let go is harder…. but worth it and fulfilling. It is beautiful in a way that changes you to become better and better.

My personal experience, especially for this year, is to let go of the things that are not in my control. You know when you are starting adulthood after graduating you want to do the things to reach a certain goal or a dream? That was me a month before I graduated and when I started working thinking I’m getting near that goal but reality strikes I’m nowhere even near a step to get there. I have to survive months after months to years living what should be as an adult. With the kind of degree I have versus the career path, I’m taking most of my friends would say I can do this or do that, to take the necessary steps for me to reach my goals. I have had a choice. Now, I need to let go of my fears of the possibilities when I make major decisions to get back on track to reach my goals. Just because I stumbled in the few laps of the race I should just stop running. At 23, no it’s not yet the end of the road for me. If it is I’ll build a road. Somehow at some point, I was aware of the need to let go of the character that puts me down or hinders me to see that it is not the end yet.

I have learned the art of fully letting go of the past, of the pain, of what could’ve been, what could not be, and who I used to be, and who I could’ve been. I emphasized fully letting go because like moving on, it is a process. Letting go is not a one-time or overnight thing that you can say you have let go. It is a constant decision and reminder of that decision, tested under time and circumstances or rather instances that put you in a decision-making position. It has somehow steps to take to begin with.

1. Be humble and face on reality

The first thing I did was to accept the things that are happening around me. To also accept that I need to let go of pride for me to actually let go. This is the reality. Pride is one big factor that gets in the way for us to accept the need to let go.

2. Check your heart and dig into the roots.

Once you humble yourself and you accept the reality, identify the things and/or character you need to let go. When I understood that I need to let go of the things that are out of my control, I also understood it is not only the thing in my heart that I need to let go also. There is something more in my heart why it used to be difficult to let go. It is that I am afraid. I’m afraid to make a decision, a bad one. I’m afraid of the uncertainty of my future and that is why when things go out of hand I need to do something. To make it work. I thought I need to make it work. If you need to list it down you can do so. It helps for me to know what exactly is I’m dealing with myself. Probably it will also work for you.

3. It’s spring cleaning time!

As I have said that letting go is a process, change doesn’t happen overnight. When you realize you need to get up each day and face life head-on, each day is different from another and you face it also differently each day. To let go of the past is like embracing each day is a brand new day. That a brand new day means you no longer live how you live in the past. You no longer live how you see or treat things just like in the past.

4. Remember you have let go.

This is how you have fully let go. As you go along each day, you will come to a certain point or even with someone that will somehow put you to a test if you are still the same person who did let go and move on in your life. It is tricky sometimes because you will not see the situation clearly as a test until you got home and realize you did the right thing or you still want to slap your face for not realizing it sooner. Even if so you think you did bad, again, PROCESS. You can go on another day learning and re-learning what should really be and how you should handle it. The moment I stopped thinking about what could go wrong if I will make certain decisions in my life, I actually started making a decision regardless if it would go wrong. And when the day came that I was put to a test I didn’t realize it until my fears creep back in if my job interview would go wrong or if applying for that certain job was wrong and so on, I suddenly snap myself back to reality saying “No, I have let go I will not fear.”

This is one of the beauties of life I’ve faced and learned that I also believe is meant for most of us to keep on learning. Even on material things! Embrace the change and challenge that comes with it. Lastly, this is what pushed me through as I went through this process again and again and again…. and again:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6